| Fat Hairy Cheaters |
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Dear Reginald,
I have the suspicion that my boyfriend might be cheating on me. Is there any way I can tell if he is being dishonest with me? Thanks in advance for your help.
Barb,
Victoria, BC
Well, well, well Barb! These are serious accusations you are making. You cannot just throw the cheat label around willy-nilly my girl. I was in a poker match in Greece once and one of the players was branded a cheat. Out of nowhere a fat, hairy man appeared and chopped off the player's thumb! It popped clean off and sailed across the room. Landed in an old man's bowl of soup. Put me off soup for ages. And sausages for that matter.
Reg
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| Boxers or Briefs |
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Hello Reginald,
On a recent wedding anniversary, my wife bought me a rather constricting pair of silk briefs. She says she loves the way I look in them but I find them really uncomfortable. What do you recommend Reginald, boxers or briefs?
Mario,
Montreal, QUE
Mario,
This is no laughing matter Mario. I am glad you brought up this point. It is of severe importance that a man must have the right balance of room and support in his masculine region. Many boxer shorts are far too loose. In the trenches a sharp gust of wind can get right up your pant leg and freeze your man-bits in a second. Before you know it you've got a bayonet in your chest. I've seen it happen. However, tight briefs can pinch you like you've got a scorpion living next door to your willy. Not ideal if you have to sit motionless in a sniper laden landscape.
Old Reg says, Royal Armed Forces rationed boxer briefs are the way to stay safe and the ladies find the military green fetching.
Reg
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| Handlebar Stiffy |
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Dear Reginald,
I really enjoy your column so I thought I would ask your opinion on something. I am dating this new lady who is very much an exhibitionist. Personally, I am a rather shy person but I do want to keep her happy. How can I get her to not be so open in public?
Colin,
Halifax, NS
Colin,
I don't really understand your problem with your lady friend's enjoyment of a little public exhibition. Many people partake in exhibitions from time to time. Why even old Reg here takes the time once a year to visit the Annual Gentleman's Beard and Moustache Exhibition. I have a grand old time and it is definitely open to the public. Gents with whiskers of all shapes and sizes travel from miles around to see the latest advancements in facial hair technology. I once bought some moustache wax imported from the Amazon Rain Forests. Wonderful stuff it was! Made me hallucinate a wee bit but my handlebar was as stiff as a board.
Reg
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| Horse Dating |
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Hi Reg!
I want to know what your feelings are about dating after divorce. How long should someone wait before getting back into it? Thanks!
Neil,
Ottawa, ONT
You know what they say Neil old man. If you fall off the horse, you have to get right back on. Great beasts they are. Horses that is. Of course you may not be able to get right back on the horse all of the time. The bugle boy in my old regiment fell off his horse once. Great big Clydesdale it was. I think his name was Thunder. Fell right on top of the poor lad. Couldn't toot his bugle for weeks.
Good luck, Neil!
Reg
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