That's me, the quintessential middle age, middle income average Canadian. You couldn't get more average - married, both my wife and I have to work, 2 kids going to college/university, mortgage, car loans, school loans and middle age paunch (yes honey, I'm spilling the beans on you too!).

Another normal trait of the average Canadian I exhibit is that I have been sitting back as part of the silent majority and never speaking out. We all see crazy things going on in our country in politics, economics and society in general, things that make you shake your head and wonder where are we going as a people and who the hell is leading?

Well, no more. Now it's time for one of us to come forward and say what hundreds, and probably thousands, are thinking. Who better than me? I mean, I was born, raised, grew up and will almost certainly die in Canada. I've lived in or through 6 Decades and have seen a lot of change in our country. I have some historical perspective on things. If I'm not qualified then who is? Okay, probably thousands better than I, but I don't see any of them typing, so I'm it.

So, here's the format. I'm going to write about things that I see, read and hear that just make me sit back and say 'What the Fuck are they Thinking?' I'll present my observations and opinions on the issue. It could be any topic, any issue but most certainly they will all have one thing in common - the average Canadian will relate in some way.

You may agree and that would make you another average Canuck or you may disagree which, well I really don't give a shit. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion so if yours differs from mine then write your own god damn column. I would love to hear back from readers however to see if I've hit any nerves out there so send your comments to stevechesney@frymybacon.com (maybe the Editors will wake up, take note and publish one or two). So, lets get started.

OHIP
What the Fuck are OHIP officials thinking? With our dwindling heath care quality and decrease in subsidies from the Federal government I can't believe that over the past year more than $8.1 million dollars was paid to clinics in the U.S. to send "chronically obese" (100 or more pounds overweight) patients for treatment. The number of people treated for tummy tucks and stapling was 225 (an approximate cost of $36,000 per patient!).

I'm the first guy to jump up to support and maintain our Universal Health Care system, but there's got to be some watchdog out there looking into what truly counts as a subsidized care service. Whatever happened to healthy eating and regular exercise for gods sakes? Here's an idea - give all 225 of these people memberships to local fitness clubs. The cost is normally around $800.00 a year so throw in some free cab rides and the cost then goes up to $1500.00 each year. Then give them some real incentive, like if they don't lose 70 pounds in a year their government subsidy payment will shrink or be stopped. I just saved us a chunk of dough for real problems like cancer research!

Crime
What the Fuck are the Provincial Government, Police Services Board and Toronto Mayor David Miller doing about the increase of violent crime on the streets of Toronto?

A commendable decision adding more officers to the force, for which it comes not a moment too soon (actually it's way overdue but you have to remember who you are dealing with here - they aren't the brightest bulbs in the box as a group). Over the past 3 to 4 weeks there have been 20 incidents in Toronto involving guns with 10 fatalities, some of them innocent children. However before we start throwing more officers at this problem maybe we'd better start providing them with the tools to do the job. And I'm not talking about bigger guns and hand grenades (although this would be an improvement over sticks, rocks and Olivia Chow's undergarments!). I'm talking about laws that the police can feel confident will help them in this fight by acting as a deterrent. Not some namby pamby stuff but real tough laws like:

• a minimum 10 year sentence with no parole for someone using a gun in a criminal act
• a minimum 5 year sentence for harbouring or assisting a criminal that is being sought by the law
• bring back the death penalty, and use it!

You're not going to get a full cease fire from criminals involved in these activities because the hardcore guys don't give a damn about anything. But the fringe 'bangers' who have either a sliver of common sense or decency may step back and reassess what they are getting into if there are some serious consequences to their actions. The perpetrators of these heinous crimes don't give a damn about human life, why should we as a society care about them?

So there you have it, my first installment. Until next time - How the fuck do you like me now?