All right, we're men. We love sports and we love women. Sometimes they go together, but more often than not, they just don't.

To help out with that compatibility problem, we've compiled a list of Sports Phrases you should never say to your girlfriend. Especially during those intimate moments (which I lovingly call hiding the bologna).

Badminton

• Whack that shuttlecock

Baseball

• I've got 3 balls and I need to score.

Basketball

• I'm going to dunk on your head!

Bowling

• My balls were in the gutter all night.

Football

• This one's going downtown!
• I'm gonna try a back door play.

Golf

• I've got a 9 o'clock threesome tomorrow morning.
• The point is to get my balls in the hole.

Hockey

• Let's play again, but with shorter periods.
• He's streaking down the left side.

Martial Arts

• Attack me and I'll show you how you get a brown belt.

Rugby

• @#%* you @#%*en @#%*.

S.C.U.B.A. Diving

• After I get tanked-up, I always end up in a wet suit.

Soccer

• After hand touches ball, I have to go out of bounds and toss it.

Tennis

• Love is nothing