Dear Mr. Bertuzzi,
I play rugby for a club team north of Toronto. Last year, on my way home from a game, I was involved in a car accident that left me with a concussion, much like the one Markus Naslund suffered from Steve Moore's hit a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, my concussion didn't happen while I was on the field of play; nonetheless, I was forced to miss a few games because of it. The accident occurred when I was driving home from the field, and a gentleman made the poor decision to run a stop sign (similar to the poor decision Moore made when he tried to bodycheck Markus). I know that hockey is a game of contact, I am all too familiar with it, having played rugby for the better part of 14 years. I believe that Moore's hit was poorly timed and that he should have tried to play the puck instead of laying out an off balance wuss like Naslund. I too am a wuss, and cannot fight my own battles. I was wondering if you could help me. I saw what you did to Moore, and I think you are just the right guy to help me. Could you please find the guy that ran the stop sign, and sneak up behind him and sucker punch him for me? I would forever be in your debt. And don't worry, if the press comes knocking on my door, (just like your beloved captain) I'll let them know how upset you are for your actions.

Sincerely,
Nash

p.s. That press conference was great! Do you think they bought it?